Groundhog Day

Ugh. Again my optimism has been dashed by a hard reality. I thought I would be writing today to say that I was returning to work, returning to normalcy and that I was done visiting Duke on a non-basketball basis. Unfortunately I am not able to say this and it no longer feels close. It was more like Groundhog Day and the rodent apparently saw its shadow.

In retrospect there were signs... Superneurosurgeon scheduled an appointment for me to meet with a neuro-oncologist before he ever saw the results of the MRI we were to review on my latest visit. The MRI showed plenty of leftover tumor - enough to make the Duke folks discuss the possibility of another operation and chemotherapy. Fortunately these possibilities were eliminated (for now). It's easy to see in the below MRI that Superneurosurgeon got all of the tumor above the cavity in my brain where the rest of it now sits.

The leftover tumor happens to be directly on the brain stem so the risk would be very high even if Superneurosurgeon were able to reach the cavity. So this leaves radiation - a possibility I knew of ahead of my recent doctors visits and one which didn't necessarily scare me. I do not currently fear the radiation treatment itself but my new radiologist (who happens to be Duke Medicine's Clinical Director of Radiation Oncology so... Superradiologist?) insists I must receive the treatment under his supervision at Duke and with Duke's $10million radiation machine which can perform MRIs while the radiation is being administered. It's a daily treatment 5 days per week for 6+ weeks. This news hit me hard. I did not want this.

For the past few days (with a short interruption last weekend to visit Statesboro to celebrate my brother's 30th birthday... Happy Birthday, Kyle!) we have been preparing to move to Durham where we will live for at least six weeks. To help soften the blow of this news I've been reminding myself that Durham is a mostly cool place in which I'll have 23 hours per day to spend however I want. Sure, it might cost us a fortune to be in a hotel and live away from home... and I'll be getting my head zapped over and over... but I'll have my wife in town with me for most of my time there and I'm happy about that. Plus I'm hoping by the time it's all over I'll develop some sort of super power under the logic that Peter Parker was bit by a radioactive spider and I will be bit by what I assume is a radioactive laser.

One of the few perks of having to get radiation over a relatively long period is that I get to wear the above pictured custom-fitted mask to keep me from moving during my treatments. I was fitted for it before leaving Duke and it's made of hard plastic. I was kind of disappointed during the mask/helmet fitting as I expected my enormous head to be too large for their warm plastic mold. Alas, it didn't even warrant a comment from the nurses. My excitement for this mask is not because it is comfortable and fashionable (it's neither comfortable nor fashionable) but because I get to keep it after my treatment is finished and therefore I get to use it to scare my dog and cat.

We leave for Durham on Sunday, 3/13 and intend to be back in Marietta for Easter weekend. After that I am not sure when I will be back but the six week treatment period ends on 4/22 and I'm strongly hoping no extension is required. One of the most common side effects of such radiation is significant fatigue so it's difficult to say what I will be able to do and when I will be able to return to normalcy. I have a follow up appointment with my Duke neuro-oncologist in early May and I'm guessing I'll be out of commission until then (at least).
We've arranged a top notch house/pet sitter (thanks Carol!) so thankfully we will not have to worry about these things. We will be staying in an Extended Stay hotel for the first two weeks and have another place booked for the rest of our time which we may end up switching if a more spacious, less costly opportunity arises. Please pray for me because, in addition to everything I've just mentioned, I will be cooped up in a small room with Devin for six weeks. And please pray twice as much for Devin for the same reason.